There’s a quiet shift that happens sometimes. Not always dramatic. Not always obvious. But one day, you wake up and realize the people, habits, and patterns that once fit so perfectly now feel tight, heavy, or even hollow.
You’re not broken. You’re growing.
Through my life, I’ve had many friendships come and go. Sometimes they drift naturally. Other times, the decision to step away was fully on my shoulders. That kind of pivot is rarely easy, but it’s often necessary. I’ve learned that not everyone is meant to walk every chapter with us, and that letting go can be an act of courage.
I believe people come into our lives to build us up, for us to build up, and to grow together. Iron sharpens iron. But sometimes, that balance breaks. I’ve had friends I poured into, only to realize later they were simply dumping their problems onto my shoulders without ever asking how I was doing. That kind of weight wears you down. And I’ve also had the opposite – friends who lifted me up when I could barely lift myself, who spoke truth and encouragement into my life. Those friendships have been pivotal.
So if you’re in a season where things feel out of sync, here are six signs that you might be outgrowing your old life and friendships, and what you can do about it.
1. Surface-Level Conversations Exhaust You
What used to be fun now feels draining. Talking about TV shows, trends, or neighborhood drama doesn’t fill you up the way it used to. You crave conversations with depth—about purpose, healing, growth, and real life.
You’re not becoming antisocial. You’re evolving. You’re realizing that connection without depth doesn’t satisfy anymore.
What to do: Gently steer your conversations in a deeper direction. And if the people in your life stay stuck on the surface, it’s okay to seek new spaces. Book clubs, support groups, journaling groups, or even writing your own blog can give you the connection you’re missing.
2. You Feel Like You’re Pretending Around Certain People
You’re showing up, but it doesn’t feel like your real self is being seen. You laugh when you don’t want to. You agree to things that don’t align with who you are anymore. You leave feeling tired instead of full.
Pretending is exhausting. And when you’re growing, it becomes harder to shrink yourself to fit into the past.
What to do: Start small. Be honest in your responses. Let your words match your values. Some people may pull away, but the right ones will lean in. The real you deserves real friendships.
3. You Don’t Relate to What Used to Excite You
You used to love certain routines, hobbies, or events, but now they feel flat. Whether it’s weekend outings, gossip-fueled conversations, or social media scrolls, something has shifted.
It’s not that you’re boring or burned out. You’ve just changed. You want different things now.
What to do: Give yourself permission to move forward without needing to explain it to everyone. Explore new interests that reflect who you are today. Growth will always feel a little awkward at first, but it eventually becomes freedom.
4. You Feel Misunderstood or “Too Much”
You share something vulnerable, and it’s brushed off. You talk about a new dream, and it’s met with silence or skepticism. It’s lonely when people don’t understand the direction you’re headed.
This is especially hard when the people in question were once your support system. But you’re not “too much.” You’re just moving into new territory that they can’t see yet.
What to do: Surround yourself with people who do see it. Even if it starts with voices online, in books, or in podcasts. You deserve to feel inspired and understood. Those connections will help keep you grounded while you grow.
5. You’re Craving Solitude or Stillness More Than Usual
You say no to plans more often. You seek out quiet moments. Maybe you feel more at home in silence than in the noise of social life. This isn’t a sign of disconnect—it’s often a sign of deep inner work.
Solitude is where your soul can breathe again. It’s where your thoughts can untangle.
What to do: Lean into it. Let the quiet speak. Journal, go for walks, create something, or simply sit with your thoughts. Growth needs space. Give yourself that gift.
6. Your Old Life Feels Like a Costume You’re Tired of Wearing
You look around and realize the life you’ve been living doesn’t reflect who you are anymore. You’ve outgrown the patterns, the roles, the expectations. And pretending to love it feels like acting in a play that ended long ago.
This is one of the most uncomfortable stages of growth—but also one of the most transformative.
What to do: Take an honest look at what still feels good and what doesn’t. Start making small shifts toward the life you want. You don’t have to blow everything up. You just have to begin. Growth isn’t about changing everything overnight—it’s about choosing alignment over autopilot.
Outgrowing friendships and old versions of yourself is not a failure. It’s a sign that you’re healing. Awakening. Becoming.
Letting go doesn’t mean you’re cold or ungrateful. It means you’re ready for more.
More truth.
More depth.
More life.
And the beautiful part is this—when you create space, the right people and purpose tend to find their way in.
If you’re in this space right now, I see you. You’re not alone. And I hope Salt, Sage & Soul becomes a place where your heart feels at home.
